Wednesday, November 17, 2010

sooner or later...

Hi. I'm a little busy this week what with band practice (FOR THIS), job interviews, job test days, waiting for info on previously committed to jobs, phone calls from my old job for some reason, and reading the Book of Job. Et cetera. So in that case I'm gonna post this old drawing I did of a bear being attacked by babies. Luckily ferocious animals being attacked by babies is pretty timeless.

See you at the Topps show.

Monday, October 18, 2010

fat boys doin' fat thangs

This hastily taken photo is a preview of a big piece I'm working on right now that I hope to have ready for the 100th Fun With Dildos that is hastily approaching. Stay tuned for more as it happens...

Monday, October 4, 2010

I don't know where this came from.

There is no stranger place than in the head of an unemployed comic artist. Except maybe Tavistock. That place is mental.

Wednesday, September 29, 2010

Topical Dildos!

If you're wondering where all the coconuts and limbo bars are check your goddamn eyes out. It say TOPICAL not TROPICAL wiseguy!

Monday, September 13, 2010

Coming Soon: Odd Jobs with Jimmy The Bison

Remember that show with that guy who would try a different job every week? I always figured that show would be better starring Jimmy the Bison. And over the next few weeks at least, it will. Or perhaps this will end up like most of my ideas for running gags. Unfinished.

Whatever. I guess Jimmy the Bison could always get work as the official stand in for the Internet Troll Logo.

Monday, August 9, 2010

poo jokes

It's too late now but I just thought of "Raging Bull". Leave your best poo sounding movie title in the comments! Or are you too scared?

Monday, August 2, 2010

Monday, July 26, 2010


Nostalgia tripping on the Turtles. Thought I'd share it up.

TMNT: Turtles in Time Soundtrack by Mutsuhiko Izumi
I have to stay up for 24 hours this Thursday so look for something else posted this week. Cuz I has been slackings. DERP.

Wednesday, July 14, 2010

Tuesday, June 29, 2010

Fun With Trivia!

If The Muppets grew up in the 90's, watched CBC, and were into toilet fetish jokes, I think this would be a real contender for a Fozzie the Bear routine.

Tuesday, June 22, 2010

Frozen Treat Themed Dildo

Everytime I make a poo joke on here an angel gets it's wings.

Come to Ladies Night this Friday:
go here for details.


Monday, June 14, 2010

the people have spoken.

And you've made it abundantly clear what you guys like about this here blog. The tags. So let me be the first to introduce you to my brand new blog Tags On Dildos! All tags, all the time. And by all the time I mean occasionally updated at arbitrary times.

That's all for now you bunch of crackerjack scumbags!

Wednesday, June 9, 2010

Sometimes you just gotta post....

... whether you got something funny or not. This is what happens when I draw a picture BEFORE writing the joke. Whatever. Can't win em all. Unless you're the London Knights.

Monday, May 31, 2010

hand writing is KINDA like a drawing I guess....

Since I only work in three panel format I had to end it there. However, potential options for a fourth panel were:

- Guy: You've OBVIOUSLY never worked at Sears have you?
- Barista: (Whispering) It's all part of Starbucks' secret modus operandi to eliminate all female employees.

See why I don't do four panels?

Wednesday, May 26, 2010

Monday, May 10, 2010

Now that I've drawn this I can finally watch Breaking Bad.

This one's for you, I-Ball. You kinda had to be there I guess. Anyway, I'm gonna try and put together a little book of dildos for your oogling pleasure. Keep an eye out. All three of you who read this...

Monday, May 3, 2010

Fun With Greetings?

Here before your very watery eyes is the first of my new project called "Fun With Greetings". Basically it's gonna be a small series of greeting cards filled with the my sardonic wit and the word poo. There's a greeting for every occasion not limited to but including:
- birthdays!
- weddings!
- sorry for your loss type deals!
- and also et cetera!

I haven't quite figured out the logistics of how and when this is going to happen but I'm hoping if there's any interest out there to get it going soon. If you like the idea let me know. I'd appreciate your input. Because I value your opinion. Except yours Dave. You can shut the hell up.

Monday, April 26, 2010

Omar comin'

This was orginally gonna be a joke about alliteration. But I wouldn't be able to live with myself if I resorted to making fun of the way two words sound together. Unless one of the words was poo. Then I'd be fine with it. Durrrrrrrrrrrrrrrp.

Monday, April 19, 2010

you win some and lose most.

There it is folks. You're annual Fun With Dildos April 2oth Weed Joke(tm). As I'm sure you have already noticed, pot humour is not my strong suit. Oh and also? I'm pretty sure this is one of the worst drawings I've ever done. Up there with this calendar and this circle.

Monday, April 12, 2010

Post #72

"Sometimes I just wonder why you ALWAYS have to draw things that are offensive."

Sorry Mom. At least the donkey from last week was pretty harmless.

Tuesday, April 6, 2010

Post #71

You know when you get this wave of inspiration that like washes over you and gives you great ideas? This wasn't one of those times.

Monday, March 29, 2010

more is sometimes less.

All that for just a teabag joke. But check out that goddamn ascot!

Technical Difficulties...


I'm having some problems with my browsers and I can't seem to upload images. I'll post the new comic just as soon as I figure all this crap out.


Tuesday, March 23, 2010

lateness due to illness

The original punchline was "That you've been eating too many clodhoppers". I think this new one is a little more in tune with what Fun With Dildos is all about. Thanks to everyone who came out to the show last week. It was a lot of fun.

Monday, March 15, 2010

MS Paint is unproffesional.

Look, here's the deal. I got nothing right now, and I'm kinda tied up right now with band stuff so I whipped up (mayonaisse pun intended) this little MS Paint masterpiece to give you a little taste of all the hilarity to come flowing back into your lives next week like some kind of out of control river of laughs. Coincidentally, River of Laughs was the original name of my band, The Barf Bags, whom you can see play a show this Friday night. Talk to me for the details if you wanna come get puked on. No pun intended there. Only truth.

Monday, March 8, 2010

I've broken my promise.

I was gonna have it say, "but it was the only way to make your mother love me again." but that made me all sad. So now I have a crappier punchline, a crappier drawing, and a crappier overall comic for you, but hey, at least I'm not all sad.

Tuesday, March 2, 2010

What? You thought I'd quit already?

This party's just getting STAAAAAAAARRRRRTED! And yes, that is a cowboy riding a peanut. Tune in for something funnier next week. Promise.

Monday, February 22, 2010

Guess what I was doing when I wrote this one?

Did you actually think I'd tell you where I come up with my ideas? I will leave you a hint hidden somewhere in this post though. See if you can find it. First person to leave an answer in the comments gets mentioned in next week's post.

Monday, February 15, 2010

Take the b out of robot and you're left with root.

Get it? It's a square condom, because, you know, robots are square and stuff? And their penises are all... aww forget it. This comedy gold is wasted on this audience. If Bernie Mac was still alive he'd be all over this joke...

Monday, February 8, 2010


I got all flustered because the line on his left arm got away from me and went onto his face but then I was all, "Don'even worry aboat it, brah. Nobuddy cares if the face is a little pooched."

Monday, February 1, 2010

how many ways can you kill a bison?

It's a good thing there are no laws against torturing cartoon characters you created. Otherwise me and Tex Avery would be in for a long stay in the big house. Not to be confused with Big Momma's House.

Sunday, January 24, 2010

Don't call it a comeback.

The past week or two I've been trying to think of a funny idea to use as an excuse as to where I've been for the past few months. The best thing I could think of was making up a story about how both my arms fell off at my elbows and I've been learning to draw again with my stubs. But after labouring over a drawing of myself with no arms for a while I gave up on that and went back to my old formula of crap drawings of unrelated objects and mildly humourous text. Enjoy. Look for new garbage from me on a semi-regular basis. Your move, Karin.