Hi. I'm a little busy this week what with band practice (FOR THIS), job interviews, job test days, waiting for info on previously committed to jobs, phone calls from my old job for some reason, and reading the Book of Job. Et cetera. So in that case I'm gonna post this old drawing I did of a bear being attacked by babies. Luckily ferocious animals being attacked by babies is pretty timeless.
There is no stranger place than in the head of an unemployed comic artist. Except maybe Tavistock. That place is mental.
Remember that show with that guy who would try a different job every week? I always figured that show would be better starring Jimmy the Bison. And over the next few weeks at least, it will. Or perhaps this will end up like most of my ideas for running gags. Unfinished.
It's too late now but I just thought of "Raging Bull". Leave your best poo sounding movie title in the comments! Or are you too scared?
This is a drawing of a retired John Olerud I did for my friend Seaver. It was fun. With Dildos.
Nostalgia tripping on the Turtles. Thought I'd share it up.
Never EVER try drawing foldy fabric things without a reference photo. Understood?
Everytime I make a poo joke on here an angel gets it's wings.
And you've made it abundantly clear what you guys like about this here blog. The tags. So let me be the first to introduce you to my brand new blog Tags On Dildos! All tags, all the time. And by all the time I mean occasionally updated at arbitrary times.
... whether you got something funny or not. This is what happens when I draw a picture BEFORE writing the joke. Whatever. Can't win em all. Unless you're the London Knights.
Since I only work in three panel format I had to end it there. However, potential options for a fourth panel were:
Pardon my absence. I've been working on my ankle tan. It's not coming along too well...
This one's for you, I-Ball. You kinda had to be there I guess. Anyway, I'm gonna try and put together a little book of dildos for your oogling pleasure. Keep an eye out. All three of you who read this...
Here before your very watery eyes is the first of my new project called "Fun With Greetings". Basically it's gonna be a small series of greeting cards filled with the my sardonic wit and the word poo. There's a greeting for every occasion not limited to but including:
This was orginally gonna be a joke about alliteration. But I wouldn't be able to live with myself if I resorted to making fun of the way two words sound together. Unless one of the words was poo. Then I'd be fine with it. Durrrrrrrrrrrrrrrp.
You know when you get this wave of inspiration that like washes over you and gives you great ideas? This wasn't one of those times.
Look, here's the deal. I got nothing right now, and I'm kinda tied up right now with band stuff so I whipped up (mayonaisse pun intended) this little MS Paint masterpiece to give you a little taste of all the hilarity to come flowing back into your lives next week like some kind of out of control river of laughs. Coincidentally, River of Laughs was the original name of my band, The Barf Bags, whom you can see play a show this Friday night. Talk to me for the details if you wanna come get puked on. No pun intended there. Only truth.
I was gonna have it say, "but it was the only way to make your mother love me again." but that made me all sad. So now I have a crappier punchline, a crappier drawing, and a crappier overall comic for you, but hey, at least I'm not all sad.
Get it? It's a square condom, because, you know, robots are square and stuff? And their penises are all... aww forget it. This comedy gold is wasted on this audience. If Bernie Mac was still alive he'd be all over this joke...
It's a good thing there are no laws against torturing cartoon characters you created. Otherwise me and Tex Avery would be in for a long stay in the big house. Not to be confused with Big Momma's House.
